I Want to Fuck the Moon

Unpublished short fiction

My father died and I was surprised to learn he had been saving money all his life working construction and left the whole wad to me. All my life I thought we were poor but in reality he was just a very skillful cheapskate. It annoyed me to find out he was so loaded and probably could have helped me with college but never did. I was happy to get the inheritance, of course, even if the numbers on my bank statement felt more like some heavy weight of neglect.
      I wasn’t quite a millionaire, but only weeks after his death I had enough to quit my job and start doing things I’d always wanted to do. First, of course, I paid off my credit cards, found a nice new apartment with central air conditioning, and took myself out for a fancy Italian dinner, which is something my father never did for me and mom. I put a lot of the money away, even made a few donations to charity, which helped with the guilt of this sudden unearned wealth, and then I bought a tailored suit—my first suit—and a little sports car. I’d never had a car of my own before. I drove it all over the city, peeled out of corners, went to the nice parks and nice restaurants and that one place on the other side of town with the really amazing bagels. People always said money can’t buy happiness, but it does get you to the good bagel place.

4,246 words