Tag: Absurdism
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TerrorZoo: Zoo of Horror
Unpublished novel. 63,293 words. (Three chapter sample.) 1. Sylvia The anteaters were eating her face. It was the worst day of her life. Or maybe it was the second worst, if we get technical about it. Even while the anteaters ate her face, she did get technical about it, because with so many anteaters on…
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What Do I Feed This Baby?
Unpublished short fiction My wife found out she was pregnant using a home pregnancy test and we were excited. Three days later, before she’d even gone to see her doctor to confirm it, she went to a party to celebrate her friend’s adoption of an infant, which was brought back from Thailand. It was a…
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The Bad Dog
Forthcoming in The Harvard AdvocateRunner Up: 2021 WLP Graduate Student Awards, Emerson College An acquaintance of mine got a baby and decided he needed to get rid of his dog. He said the dog was too rowdy, and he was worried it would hurt the baby. Fine, I said, I’ll take the dog. I’d recently…
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The Auto-Heimlich
Unpublished short fiction Almost every memory I have of Grandma Jo, going back to when I was a little boy, is of her choking. And I don’t mean that in a euphemistic way; I mean Grandma Jo was always choking—wheezing and struggling to breathe, turning blue in the face, waving her arms to get the…
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Someone Got Eaten
Unpublished short fiction Someone got eaten. It may have been Paulina, or it could have been Fitzjames, or perhaps it was Stanley. That rat bastard Stanley. It was probably him who got eaten. I can’t say for certain, but someone definitely got eaten here. Look at the bones. Look at the guts. I think that’s…
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I Want to Fuck the Moon
Unpublished short fiction My father died and I was surprised to learn he had been saving money all his life working construction and left the whole wad to me. All my life I thought we were poor but in reality he was just a very skillful cheapskate. It annoyed me to find out he was…
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The Stupid Invasion
Published in The Florida Review 46.2 — Winter 2022 Aliens invaded Earth, and they were so fucking rich. It wasn’t exactly an invasion, either. They just kind of showed up and started spending money. Their spaceships weren’t all that special. They actually seemed a lot like ours—they had rockets and thrusters and things. No one…
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How the Ocean Hated Tampa Tom
Everyone hated Tampa Tom. His friends hated him and his enemies hated him.